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Aragorn and Arwen
USA
22 Posts |
 Posted - 02/05/2010 : 14:21:41
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Despite there being some weird double standards on my mom's part, we were for the most part taught to always keep our bodies covered. My mom didn't even appreciate us boys walking around without a shirt on. And to be honest, I grew up with some severe body issues. I spent one school year wearing a jacket regardless of the weather because I felt that I was too skinny. (I have to admit that some of these body issues came from my being teased and picked on because I was so thin).
But at the same time, I didn't like wearing clothes. I found them uncomfortable - especially in the heat. There were several occasions when my family went out of town and I had to stay that I pulled down all of the blinds and went around the house all weekend long without clothes on. There were other occasions when I went swimming at a nearby resevoir and no one was around, I would swim naked. However, I was so terrified of getting caught that I would hold onto my trunks just in case someone showed up and I didn't have time to get back to them. Living in a small, conservative community, getting caught skinny dipping would have been spread all around town very quickly.
After high school, I got a mission call to Europe. While on my mission, I was constantly presented with the belief that being too uptight about nudity was unhealthy. To be honest, I wasn't able to present a valid argument against it. We were discouraged from going near the beaches, but sometimes, it wasn't possible to avoid them as bus stops or train stops would drop you off in full view of them. Also, sometimes, it was unreasonable to have to walk around them. One such time, we were walking along a lakeside area to get to an appointment and there was a father and his two daughters, who looked to be 8 and 10. The father was fully clothed and standing and watching his daughters as they played in the lake, butt naked. To be honest, it was a very innocent, beautiful sight of a caring father spending quality time with his daughters. My guess was that they had just been out and about and they had begged the father to let them go swimming, so he didn't have a suit (it was much less acceptable for adults to swim fully nude than for children in this culture).
My companion turned his nose up in the air and said "That guy is a real pervert. Back in the States, the FBI would deffinitely have him on a list." This companion was convinced he was right no matter what, so I agreed with him to save on an argument, however, as time went on, I realized that something was wrong about that situation. But it wasn't the father and his daughters. What they were doing was culturally acceptable and the father had clearly made his daughters' day by taking them to the beach. It was good, quality family time. The father wasn't staring at them with an evil glint in his eyes, he was talking to them, smiling and laughing with them. The only pervert there had been my companion, who had somehow imagined that there was something sexual about this harmless and healthy situation.
That summer, seeing naked people was pretty inevitable. I saw several adults of all ages when passing the beach, and kids were permitted to be naked just about anywhere - the beach, their homes, the water fountain at the main square, and anywhere between their homes and public places that they wanted to visit. Not that we saw naked people every day, but on weekends, we'd see some at the fountain in the public square, and if we had to leave the city, we'd see them along the lake. Eventually, the sight of a naked person wasn't a shock. The fact that almost none of the people who went around naked looked very attractive made me think a lot about how they weren't embarassed to have their less-than-perfect bodies seen by anyone who might feel inclined to criticize or mock. (I had always figured that good looking people would be more willing to show off their bodies than ugly people because the good looking people wouldn't have to deal with people thinking poorly of them). I had always, because it was what I was taught, thought that being naked around others was a sexual thing, but that summer, I discovered that it didn't have to be. I also saw kids who were just starting puberty (breasts and pubic hair both just starting to grow) who weren't ashamed to have their changing bodies be seen. At that age, I would not let anyone else see me naked, no matter what. If I had to dress in front of others (e.g. at the locker room at the swimming pool) I would dress in a corner and turn my back to the others so that they could only briefly see my butt. It was awkard and embarasssing every time. Seeing these children who were at the same vulnerable part of their lives not caring if everyone saw them naked made me a little jealous. I had overcome my body issues, but I wished that I could have grown up not ever having them. At that point, I decided that I would definitely try to have a very open attitude when I had a family of my own.
Three years later, I was married and I wanted to try out clothing optional recreation. Arwen was very hesitant, but agreed that we could try a place so long as we kept clothed until both of us felt comfortable with it (for the full story, read "My First Time, Orvis Hot Springs). The funny thing is that I think that seeing clothing optional recreation really helps to change a person's mind. Arwen, I think, had imagined the worst, but when we got there, she quickly decided that there was no reason that we couldn't join in.
We had always agreed that treating the human body like a dirty secret wasn't healthy, but it wasn't until she had seen that nudists act just like clothed people and that the human body stops being shocking or sexual when you stop treating it like it's shocking or sexual that she opened up to being naked herself.
Arwen really enjoyed the feeling of not having to wear a suit, which she had always felt was uncomfortable. I liked finally getting rid of the feeling that our bodies, even though every one has a body and their bodies have the same parts, had to be kept a complete secret. Shortly after that, we went to a waterpark and it just seemed wrong. It felt like everyone there was either trying to hide their bodies, or they were wearing suits that brought more attention to their "private areas" than not wearing anything would have. And, ironically, there were more guys staring at girls and checking them out in the waterpark than there were at all of the clothing optional places I'd been to combined.
Anyway, we have been to numerous clothing optional places since then and try to make sure that we have at least several opportunities a year to undress and relax.
If God had intended us to be nudists, we wouldn't have been born with clothes on. |
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FullMonty
865 Posts |
Posted - 02/06/2010 : 01:54:52
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Great thoughts Aragorn, it sounds like you were raised in a normal household, complete with assigned body issues. I believe many people on this forum can thank missions to Europe as mind opening and a way to re-frame their beliefs. I also served in Europe and watched a group of teenagers skinny dipping behind my flat on a few occasions. I thought it would be fun to join in, if I wasn't on a mission.
" ...at least we have several opportunities a year to undress and relax." You live in a house don't you? I'm sure more opportunities will present themselves.
Great post. |
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My thyoughts
